Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
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