i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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