He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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