There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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