you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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