so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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