spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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