I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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