ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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