He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize