The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize