What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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