i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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