sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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