i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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