Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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