bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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