Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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