Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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