Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
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Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
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He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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