I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize