I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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