we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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