I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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