your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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