i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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