it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
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they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
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Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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