why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize