she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
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Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
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Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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