I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize