ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize