i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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