We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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