im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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