he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
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Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
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They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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