Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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