"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
