You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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