so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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