I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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