he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You can't special order awesome
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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