he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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