We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
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All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
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you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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