I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize