he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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