Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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