Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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