some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I want a musical about memes.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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