she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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