just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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