I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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