I'm gonna have a badass scar
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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